


It's The Heteronormativity For Me

by emmadune



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF
Genre: 5+1 Things, Celebrities, Hollywood, M/M, POV Outsider, Secret Relationship, Unreliable Narrator, bc it was my original plan, but i couldnt do it on my phone where i initially posted, i added my pic inspo, oblivious characters, so edited it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:49:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25827715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmadune/pseuds/emmadune
Summary: The five times Timmy and Armie's relationship flew over everybody's heads, and the one time they finally spelled it out to the world.
Relationships: Timothée Chalamet/Armie Hammer
Comments: 18
Kudos: 155





	It's The Heteronormativity For Me

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this instead of finishing my epilogue on Finders Keepers because this popped up in my brain three days ago and never went away. So like, if you're going to ask why the hell didn't I finish my other work first, no you're not ❤️ lmao anyway. I don't know what this is I just wanted to get it out of my system once and for all.

**One**

It’s only past dinner and Sofie is already done for the day. Munich is overall amazing, and she still says that she’s living the dream when her American family calls her and asks about her days. They’d chosen to send her to a European university to avoid student loans. That’s it. Sure, the cost of living is quite the deal, and she has to be away from her family for the entire year, but it’s not that bad. What’s bad, in her opinion, is when she needs something, and she has no one to turn to. 

Like today. Her brother, Mark, is a pretty techy dude. Sofie’s iPad broke and she’s left to stand in front of the counter in an Apple service center in Herzog-Wilhelm street, where across the shop is the Ruby Danceclub and Evergreen filled with very happy, young people who do not hate their life at the moment. Maybe that’s a hasty assumption, but Sofie just wants to complain. 

As a consolation, she reminds herself of Geisels down the street by the bend where she can pick up a few bottles of wine. She’s only waiting for her receipt, as she has to leave her gadget with them and come back when it’s ready, whenever that is. Goodness, but it’s a foul night; her boyfriend back in the States hasn’t talked to her in days, and her best friend likes to pretend that she can’t keep an eye. Sofie can already see where this is going, and she’s now just in the process of coming to terms with the betrayal from the two closest people she grew up with one continent away. 

Out of sight, out of mind, as they say, but God, she wants to break more things to get rid of this rage. 

“We’ll contact you in a few days,” Anton tells her, then lays out a diagnostic of everything they need to do with her iPad. 

Sofie is so done with it. “Yes, yes, anything.” 

Anton startles, blinking up at her. 

“Sorry, oh my God, I didn’t mean to be rude.” Sofie fumbles, waving her hand apologetically. “I’m just - rough day.” 

Anton nods in understanding. “Alright, but yeah, That’s it.”

“It’s a lot.” 

“Apple.” 

Sofie laughs then rolls her eyes. “Truly,” she agrees, then bids goodbye to the lovely staff. 

It’s a busy street, and she wishes dearly that she could drag a couple of her university friends to go out one of these days. She escapes to the end of the lane to Geisels, bracing herself to the splurge that’s bound to happen. 

Out of all things that Sofie would count on to sprinkle a little goodness to her seemingly unsalvageable night, it certainly isn’t a celebrity sighting. Not to be creepy, but Sofie has a type, and it’s big, beefy blondes, like Armie Hammer who’s coddling a young girl outside the wine shop, so if she says she can spot him a mile away, it’s not a lie. There isn’t a lot of commotion surrounding him since he’s pretty discreet with a black cap and the most dad combination of black shirt and jeans. Sofie keeps on walking towards the street bend, maybe for the wine, maybe for Armie Hammer who’s famously divorced after a hefty settlement. 

It’s not the time for that, though. Honestly, Sofie knows that logically, she has no chance here and she just wants to indulge herself. Once she’s closer, she sees Armie pulling to his side a lanky man with an identical black cap, dressed in black long sleeves with his white undershirt peeking out. What luck she has, it’s Timothée Chalamet, or at least she assumes, given the curls. He’s bending down and fussing over an even younger boy, barely coming up to his hips. Sofie realizes they’re Armie Hammer’s kids. 

Slipping behind a magazine rack, Sofie makes a quick search of the Call Me By Your Name sequel, which she finds to be in the midst of filming at the moment. That explains why the two are outside a wine shop in Munich, but it’s endlessly heartwarming to see such a willing actor babysitting for his costar. Sofie has grown to assume that actors don’t really care much for each other outside work, but clearly these two are an exception. 

Timothée seems very familiar with the kids, and they’re comfortable enough to climb him and give him a hard time while they play. It’s a funny sight, to be honest, since Armie seems to be the one in charge of Timothée as he hovers over the younger actor as they move. A staff from Geisels comes out with a bag, which Armie takes while Timothée entertains Harper and Ford. 

_Mom, CMBYN stars are filming in my city!_ Sofie messages her mother excitedly. 

The response comes instantaneously. Her mother is quite fond of Timothée Chalamet. According to her, it’s high time that the world gets a gentler, masculine figure to look up to on the screen. 

_Send a picture this instant._ Her mother writes, then attaches her own selfie with a skeptical look. 

Sofie laughs, but hesitates to comply. She gathers some courage to approach them, but everyone can pretty much tell that they’re on a private time outside, especially with the kids in tow. Clearing her throat, Sofie just says fuck it and sets her phone on camera. 

The moment she decides on it, Armie and Timothée stumble on each other as Harper runs after Ford, who’s crossing the street for this flashy display. Should anybody ask, Sofie will say that she snaps the moment out of instincts, which is how she ends up with a terribly blurred picture to send to her mother. 

_They ran after Armie’s kids and they’re carrying wines._

_I don’t know what’s going on._

Sofie sends the image over to her mother, who replies with a photo of herself mid-laughter. 

_Sweetheart, won’t you watch out for them for a kiss? I’m pretty sure those two aren’t just friends._

Sofie scowls at her mother’s message. _Mom, they’re filming a movie. Stop that._

_Fine, you’re right. They’re so convincing on screen._

_It’s their job._

Sofie looks over to the little, domestic group. Armie is so at ease in their bubble, watching fondly as Harper negotiates with Timothée, who’s carrying Ford in his arms. It’s a little chaotic, but with two kids it’s likely bound to happen anyway. They seem to be handling it perfectly anyway, or at least the best two men can manage. She doesn't mean to be nosy at all, but if she enters the cafe across and buys herself coffee just so she can watch them through the glass, then she can pretend that she tried a bit of discretion while she's at it. 

Armie passes on the bag to Timothée, then picks up Harper and puts her on his shoulders. The kids reach over to each other, but Ford is clearly at the disadvantage since Timothée is much smaller than Armie. To compensate for that, Armie grabs him by the waist and hoists him a little off the ground. Sofie gasps audibly from her seat; that’s quite a display of strength. 

Laughing, Timothée leans on Armie’s torso then squirms out. He gives back the bag to Armie and they turn on their heels to go and resume their stroll. From where she’s sitting, Sofie can tell that Armie drapes his arm around Timothée’s shoulder, then fiddles with his son who’s being carried by his costar. Sofie takes her camera out again as a last attempt to capture the two, but they turn to the bend of the street and disappear into the night. 

Sofie sighs, then finishes her drink. It’s useless to stay behind the cafe at his point. She takes her mug back to the bar and thanks the barista, then proceeds to her actual agenda with the wines. 

Geisels has an amazing selection, which also means it’s not very cheap. At least Sofie can say that the price is rather fair, whatever. She goes up to get the ones she likes, stopping herself from wincing. Beer is cheap in comparison, and she chooses this. Besides, she believes she deserves a little treat for herself. She really isn’t enjoying life at the moment. 

_“You know, I still think they’re dating.”_ One of the staff says, speaking in German as they process her bottles. 

The other shrugs, noncommittal. _“We’ve been on this for an hour.”_ She smiles at Sofie and takes her card. _“Besides, maybe he’s just making do with the situation. You know he has to use the custody time or he’d lose it.”_

_“For fuck’s sake, they kissed on the street.”_

_“It’s fucking dark out, moron.”_

Sofie coughs to disguise her laugh. Armie and Timothée can really sell their brand very well. 

**Two**

Luca Guadagnino can just take the awards and go. Call Me By Your Name had been an indie darling for so long, and the director produced a sequel to it that punches in places that the first installment hadn't covered. Filmed seven years after its predecessor, the sequel features the beloved protagonists as they navigate the world as two people who were changed fundamentally following their summer in northern Italy. It’s a magnificent exploration of the sacrifices that the society as a whole refuses to tackle. Furthermore, it twists the storyline with the political climate of the nineties, and there goes another movie that brings a crowd’s heart to tears. 

Whatever it is that allowed for the stars to align, Peter McNamara would willingly thank it for putting Armie Hammer and Timothée Chalamet on screen together. Their chemistry is breathtaking that every performance they give moves the audience so deeply, as if they’d been a part of the experience themselves. Peter, as the floor director on the red carpet, thinks that he’s hit the jackpot by simply having the opportunity to cover the two as they enter. 

According to the staff, the cast is set to arrive in five minutes. Peter takes this small window to get a quick run through with the technical team. No one’s going to go harder on him than himself if he messes up this coverage. It’s important to him, as a father who’s trying his best with his son, who he knows is gay, but obviousy doesn’t feel comfortable in coming out to him yet. In a way, his desire to get this as correctly as possible may have everything to do with his need to compensate as a father. Peter likes to think he’s not lacking too much on that aspect. Sure, he’s divorced, but he’s proudly getting by on his own while his ex-wife has gone God knows where. 

Strangely, it’s a movie franchise that allows him to get the grasp of queer coming of age. Not entirely, for sure, and he doesn’t depend on it for life lessons. Peter just thinks that it offers such an unflinching approach to parenting, on both sides of the spectrum. 

On one hand, Peter sees Oliver's traditional, conservative family. On the other, Elio has parents who adore each other and him, wholeheartedly, with endless understanding and consideration for whatever he chooses in life. Peter wants desperately to stay on Elio's end of the spectrum. He may be too invested in it, but as a man in his forties, this really isn’t something he can easily turn to other people for guidance. Besides, he works in the industry, and he intends to make something out of the materials easily accessible to him, fiction or not. 

Armie Hammer and Timothée Chalamet walk out of the vehicle, practically attached by the hip. They’re a sight together, perfectly complementary and rhythmical. It's nearly a signature by now that Timothée Chalamet will never pass up the opportunity to greet his fans. He does it unfailingly at every single award show, which is very endearing. Armie Hammer trails behind him, hand on the small of his back. 

They interact with the crowd, alternating with signing, taking pictures and chatting. Between the two of them, Armie is obviously more extroverted and they're already eating out of the palm of his hand, even Timothée, who's staring up at his costar with a breathless grin. For what he lacks in comparison to Armie's bravado, Timothée makes up for with his sincere gestures. Though their time with the fans is cut short by the staff pulling them back to the red carpet, Peter knows that alone counts so much. 

Finally, Armie and Timothée start walking in front of the press. Peter jumps in motion, barking out orders as he watches through the screen, then in person. Armie keeps an arm constantly around Timothée, while he would always come up to Armie's ear to whisper something. They laugh and embrace on the red carpet, Armie sometimes even dropping a kiss on top of Timothée's head; an authentic display of affection, in Peter's opinion. 

Peter isn't one to speak for a community that he isn't a part of, but seeing them represent gay characters on screen and be so genuinely at ease with each other to this extent warms Peter's heart. Clearly, Hollywood still has a long way to go, but casting the two is a good start. Timothée stares at Armie with an open rawness that startles Peter, while Armie can't seem to stay still unless he's touching a bit of Timothée. Peter isn't in the position to say this, but he feels safe with this representation so far. 

Their staff signals them to move away from the spotlight. Peter leaps to his feet again, arranging the clips then barking out orders to have them ready for the next. Armie takes Timothée's hand, palms clasped together, then walks towards their team. 

"I'm fucking cold." Timothée exclaims, shivering as he huddles closer to Armie who absently takes him in his embrace. 

Peter can't help the pull and takes the time to watch them, just in time that Armie back-hugs Timothée and sways them a little. Their staff didn't even bat an eye. 

"We got to stop by the interview before going in." Armie says, stepping to the side a bit and letting Timothée stray out of his grasp. "Maybe you can catch some - hey, come back here. Babe!" 

Timothée crumples a towel and throws at him, laughing, which Armie effortlessly catches then proceeds to use it to hook around Timothée's torso and pull him back. 

Peter laughs at their antics, Armie's in particular. What a flirt. No wonder the ladies are all over him. 

**Three**

Sienna was eighteen when she first saw Timothée Chalamet on screen in Little Women, and maybe that's what kickstarted her terrible taste in men, but there you go. From there, she's followed his steady rise to fame. She is, indeed, quite a huge fan, but she doesn't believe that anyone can blame her. Who wouldn't love Timothée Chalamet? Dark hair, light eyes, looks dangerous one moment then adorable on the next? And God just thought he had to be French. It's a perfect storm. 

Has it been nearly a decade since? Definitely. Is she still that big of a fan? Yes. Despite her devoted following, Sienna will confidently announce that she's not delusional. Over the course of the years, Timothée has been linked to countless actresses that he's worked with, even with a couple of sightings with a few. Still, nothing has been confirmed, and most just disappear into thin air. 

There's a running gag in her circle of friends where they tease her that the closest thing that Timothée Chalamet has for a romantic link is Armie Hammer. Truthfully, Sienna can get on with the joke. The two are literally inseparable, and having grown up with three brothers, she knows better than most that there's hardly any stronger bond than two dudes who want to stay single. 

Armie Hammer has divorced his wife so long ago that Sienna can't even remember when the news popped up. Besides, it was a very quiet affair. Good for him. It's also a testament about the man that he is, which is seemingly good, though the internet definitely gets off of kink-shaming him. Sienna thinks it's hilarious. 

Timothée Chalamet - the man of the decade, in Sienna's peasant opinion - neither confirms nor denies. He literally just let the world burn around him while he lives his unproblematic, wealthy life. It's the smart thing to do anyway. Dealing with the gossip is such a waste of time. 

Maybe he's going to live like Leonardo DiCaprio, which they probably should've seen coming considering that people have called Timothée Chalamet as the Leo of this generation. Like the veteran actor, maybe Timothée will also be notoriously a bachelor well past his forties, always for holidays in luxurious beaches with a yacht full of models. 

Personally, Sienna had liked Lily-Rose Depp. She's a high-profile, French-American actress and quite the eye candy. It's not fair, of course, since the point of her preference is that she wants something nice to look at. For all she knows, maybe Timothée has had relationships that miraculously managed to keep away from the media. Sienna bets he paid a whole load of money to pull it off. 

Until Timothée announces willingly to the public that he has a girlfriend, then Sienna will have to put up with her friends referring to Armie Hammer as Timothée Chalamet's better half. They act like it, if she's being honest. They're often in each other's posts, and they hang out so much from LA to New York, and a couple of times in Cayman Islands and in France. 

Today, Armie Hammer posts a picture of Timothée standing over him, unimpressed. Sienna recognizes the clothes to be from their guest appearance on French T.V, which she watched even though she only understands something when the crew would translate for Armie. It's thirty minutes of her life down the drain, but she didn't regret it. Timothée Chalamet is hotter in French, period. 

[armiehammer: so, what does one do when they pissed off @tchalamet for making them really late for a schedule?]

The playful post escalates quickly from there. A lot of Armie's close friends commented and teased him, leaving remarks about how he's lucky to have made it out, or innuendos like it's a miracle that they even got out of the house when Timothée looked like that. Sienna is familiar with this commotion. Armie has very mischievous friends, too. Most of them have gotten close to Timothée over the years as well. They've been all over each other's social media posts. 

As if the day couldn't have gone more chaotic, Armie goes on live, where he basically uses to publicly cuss out his friends. That doesn't mean Sienna will be missing it. 

"No, fuck you, get a life." Armie says to Nick, who's flooding the live with one punch line after the other. "And for the record, I have good work ethics. That was a one time thing and I have an extremely valid reason." 

The fans ask him to specify, which Armie cheerfully pretends not to notice. 

"Did you all watch that, though? I mean, I understand if you won't since it's French - oh, so you watched it _because_ it's in French?!" Armie exclaims gleefully, responding to the messages. "I must've been the clown, huh? Well, I'm uncultured. They don't teach French in jail." 

Sienna laughs at that. For whatever reason, Armie is the biggest fan of his own stupid record, which he likes to bring up every now and then. As far as she can remember, it was about pot or something, which didn't even drag on. Armie has bail money. It's settled even before anyone knows about it. She finds it overly amusing that he carelessly makes himself the brunt of the joke. Certainly, he has thick skin, but Sienna also suspects that it's a strategy to reclaim anything from his past that may be used against him and twist it into something humorous. 

The live strays into tedious topics as Armie talks about his time off in LA. 

"Oh, shit." Armie winces, covering his mouth with his hand. "I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say where I am." 

The cat is already out of the bag, so he just laughs it off. Sienna only follows Armie due to his close ties with Timothée, so she's pretty much used to how chaotic he is in general. He's grown on her. It's like a sibling thing; she can have moments where she's not his biggest fan, but God-forbid if anyone takes him away. 

"How's LA? Still pretentious, don't worry." Armie deadpans. "Sunny, too. Might be a good day to go out but-" 

"Who's that?" 

Sienna whips around, recognizing Timothée's voice. The viewers catch on quickly, too. The live floods with pleas to get Timothée on screen, but Armie seems to have forgotten about his phone that's propped on the desk. He leans back on his chair, stretching.

"I'm on live." Armie replies, looking to the side and following the movement. "Did you eat already?" 

"Nah, wanna grab a bite?" By the sound of it, Timothée seems to be walking around the house and further away as his voice gets smaller. 

Armie looks over his phone and glares playfully, but doesn't pick it up. "I sort of let it slip that I'm in LA."

Timothée snorts, which is loud enough to indicate that he's near. "You need your phone taken away." 

"You say that now but I already posted you." Armie folds his arms on to the back of his head, smiling haughtily. 

Finally, Timothée appears, though barely since he's standing up and the camera only gets up to his torso. "What? I didn't see - oh, you asshole." 

Armie laughs, moving his hands to clap with glee. "Don't be rude, say hi." He points to the camera on the desk. 

Sienna holds her breath as Timothée bends down a bit to wave. Suddenly, the chat floods with requests for him to stay a bit and talk. 

"Sure, let's talk." Timothée agrees goodnaturedly. 

"Come sit on my lap." Armie taps his thighs, then reaches forward. 

Timothée pushes Armie's hands off of him, laughing. "Fuck off, I'm getting my own chair." 

"There's no other chair - no, don't you dare." Armie wrestles to get Timothée back and successfully hooks his arm around his waist. "Sit on me." 

"Armie, for fuck's sake, it's lunch time." 

The live is a whole chaos at this point. It's half of the viewers hopping on the innuendo train, the other half still clinging on hopes to get a conversation started. Even if she's not that big of a fan, Sienna still gives props to Armie Hammer for promoting her favorite boy. Whatever. 

**Four**

Lia Macaluso can only describe herself as new in the scene; a sixteen year old whose combined singing and dancing training landed her a role alongside Armie Hammer as his estranged daughter recovering from the aftermath of a foul, high-profile divorce. Though trained in performing arts, Lia has more than a handful of moments where she felt magnificently inadequate to the sheer force that Armie brings into their scenes. She knows, intellectually, that experience plays a huge part of it, but the entire process of the movie had been pretty overwhelming that she thinks she'd want a break after. Add to it the fact that it's quite a heavy storyline; following the rekindling parental relations and healing through childhood trauma. 

The promotion is interesting. They're scheduled for appearances nearly most days of the week, and Lia can't seem to get over the fact that she can no longer associate her mind to herself who played the role in the movie. It's not that it's a bad thing, but she can't really help but feel guilty. Oftentimes, she's asked about her process of going through the motions of such a taxing story, and she can only give them really bland answers as she genuinely cannot reattach to the memory. 

It's a concern that should probably be raised to her mother, but Lia thinks it can wait. It doesn't affect her day to day, anyway. It's just a bizarre mental response to a stressful experience. For now, she'd focus on the task at hand. They have an interview to get through. 

Armie is still on FaceTime with Timothée Chalamet, which is another overwhelming sight for Lia. Over the course of filming, she's seen Timothée come by the set and hang out in Armie's trailer more than any other friend or family. When he's not around, Armie likes to ring him and chat endlessly until it's time to shoot again. Despite the supposed restrictions, Lia has in fact seen Call Me By Your Name and its sequel, which she finds to be such an important movie for teenagers who will be going through, if not already in the process, the same phase as Elio. 

Now that she's working alongside Armie Hammer, Lia wonders if she will ever foster a bond as strong as the two created from a breathtakingly tender and intimate franchise. She wonders if it happens to many other actors, and most importantly how they carry these relationships throughout their career. In Armie's case, he seems to have developed a strong dependence on Timothée when it comes to acquainting himself with his emotions. Lia would sometimes pass him by and hear them talking about certain scenes where Armie would carry the brunt of the weight. Timothée helpfully talks him through it, sometimes even rehearsing, no matter if they're face to face on the foldable set chairs or through FaceTime. Aside from that, they actually leave together after a long day, off to God knows where. They're so casual about it too, often posting a selfie for everyone to see. 

Lia admires their friendship. Also, Timothée Chalamet ages rather slowly. He's so very gorgeous that Lia feels endlessly flustered when he's around. 

"Ready in a minute!" A staff calls out, the lighting and sound being tested for one more run before bringing them in front of the camera. 

Lia stands up from her chair and goes in front of the mirror. She's dressed in a vintage Chanel that she never even thought she'd come near to, with minimal make-up and a preppy hat to complete the look. Aside from the luxury, Lia is also immensely grateful that her personal style preference is considered for most of her public appearances. It boosts her confidence, which isn't much to start with, so she wants all the help she can get. 

"Alright, I've got to go." Armie says to the phone, then takes a moment to examine himself on camera. "How'd I look?" 

"Like a movie star, what else?" Timothée replies with a snort. "Now go and stop fishing for compliments. I'll see you this weekend." 

Armie laughs at the blunt dismissal but doesn't protest. "Alright, love you." 

"Love you." Timothée gives one last smile, then the screen turns black. 

It's not the first time that Lia has heard them verbally express their affection, yet it still sounds fascinating to her. They're so comfortable about it, something she rarely ever sees with the prominent male figures in her life. Armie has always been pretty outspoken about his progressive views, and so is Timothée, who's known to be very well read on top of it.

"Ready?" Armie comes up to her side, giving her his usual reassuring grin. 

Lia has to crane her neck up to see his face. "Am I ever? I'm nervous again." 

Armie chuckles fondly and pulls her by the shoulder, squeezing lightly. "Nah, you'll be fine. And we can cut it when you're not comfortable, you just need to signal me. Tell me again how we do that?" 

Lia taps her right foot on the floor three times insistently. 

"Good, now use that when you're really overwhelmed, okay? I'm serious." Armie stares her down sternly. 

"Yes, I promise." Lia nods obediently, then takes a deep breath. 

They're ushered in towards the set, and Armie helps her to her seat. The interviewer, Margaret Carter, greets them warmly and offers high praises for the movie. Lia mostly follows Armie's lead, but even that is hard to keep up with considering his natural charisma. 

The interview starts with the basics, one that they've gone through with other media outlets countless times. Lia recalls her audition process and the entire taxing experience of returning for calls over and over again without any assurance of actually landing a spot in the film. Armie remains attentive to her, being that he's very much aware of how anxious she gets sometimes. Miss Carter is slowly becoming Lia's favorite interviewer. She's very gentle but spot on, and she actually has very insightful comments about the premise of the movie. 

"The thing is, I feel this movie deeply." Armie says with a sigh. "Not exactly the same, but I've gone through divorce and I share custody with my ex-wife, which as we all understand couldn't have been easy on the kids. That personal connection alone opens this pool of emotions that I can tap in during heavier scenes, because I can just imagine myself in my character's shoes, and it breaks my heart!"

It's put lightly enough to earn chuckles as Armie plays it off, but it doesn't diminish the truth to his words. 

"How about Lia?" Margaret turns towards her, encouraging. "How do you deliver during scenes like this?" 

Lia nervously glances to Armie, then to Margaret. "Uhm, I guess it helps that I'm already an angsty teen." They laugh at her response, which she thinks is a good thing. "But, uh, I was also in theater since I was eight, so I like to think I've learned to take directions well." 

Margaret is visibly suppressing her coo. "And you're enrolled in LaGuardia, is that right?" 

"Yes," she confirms with a thrilled nod. 

"Like Timmy," Armie remarks on her side. 

"Oh, maybe you can introduce the notable graduate?" Margaret says. 

"I have!" Armie exclaims, watching Lia blush at the mention. "But she's very shy around him, which honestly, their combined shyness should've canceled each other out." 

Lia laughs with her face behind her hands. "Oh my God, stop." 

Armie and Margaret are unabashedly cooing at her now. 

"You know, I've been thinking of bringing Timmy in the premiere." Armie muses, conspiring. 

"So does that mean we won't see a lady love?" 

"He _is_ the lady love."

She peeks between her fingers to look at them and finds Armie and Margaret looking intently at her, still teasing. 

Why must Lia develop a crush on her costar's best friend, of all people? For God's sake, it's her first major role! 

**Five**

In all the years that Donna has worked in styling the celebrities, she has grown to believe that she's past the point of getting starstruck. When she's tapped to be in the team that will dress Saoirse Ronan for the BAFTA, she's thrilled enough to have called her parents, four siblings, two closest cousins, her high school best friend and her boyfriend about it. 

It's cool. Donna has styled Harry Styles once for the Met Gala, as well as Zendaya for Primetime Emmy and Lily Collins for the Golden Globes, among others. In her opinion, she has a pretty solid record as far as her experience goes. 

When Saoirse Ronan steps into the red carpet, it might be a little narcissistic for Donna to feel absolutely floored by the look she helped to put together. It's a cream, flowing dress, heavily accented with intricate gold patterns all the way down to the hem of the skirt. They got it from Dior runway and had enough alterations that Donna began doubting if it's even the dress that will steal the night, but thank God she trusted the process. 

Saoirse walks towards the row of reporters, the glide of the material along with the reflecting flare of flashes off the gold of her dress makes her look absolutely ethereal as she goes in. 

"That's it. My best work." Donna says under her breath, watching from the sidelines with Nikita, Saoirse's make-up artist. 

"You know what? I think I agree." Nikita responds, nodding appreciatively. "Mine, too." 

"I feel like a man would ruin her look, so I'm thankful that she never brings one." Donna ponders, though she keeps it down. 

Nikita turns towards her gleefully. "I thought I was the only one who thought that!" 

"Right?" Donna gestures excitedly. "The power she holds, ugh."

"Aww, look." Nikita coos, tugging at her sleeve as he points towards the cars. "Timmy isn't coming out of his car." 

Timothée Chalamet is a crowd darling, with that timeless, regal look of his and bold style to boot. Even if they're technically contemporaries with nearly the same weight of achievements under their belt, there's still a split focus bound to happen if he jumps out of the car right at this moment. It is, indeed, sweet of him to wait it out until Saoirse has had her fill of the spotlight. 

"Wow, I never thought I'd see such solidarity amongst beautiful people." And Donna means it, especially in red carpets. 

Nikita laughs, hitting her on the arm. "No, he's cool. Really polite and overall a cinnamon roll. 'He can watch my friends' drinks in a party' type of guy." 

"Literally the bar is on the floor for men." Donna grouses, but she appreciates the description. 

As far as she knows, Timothée Chalamet rarely employs a style team, and based on his red carpet looks, he's doing very well. Maybe it's just hard to mess up when you look the way he does, but Donna will stand her ground and give the credit where it is due. For that reason, she's quite invested in seeing his look for tonight, but there's not much luck from where she's standing. 

"True, but like, imagine the generation that'll grow up with him as the A-list actor."

"I do love somewhat occasionally femme French boys, I'm not gonna lie." 

Nikita laughs again, but she agrees wholeheartedly. 

Saoirse stays a while longer on the red carpet, then walks towards reporters to entertain a few questions. Timothée Chalamet takes the window and gets out of his vehicle, walking gracefully, then escaping his security to greet his fans. It's heartwarming to watch, but obviously not for his staff who insistently keep on pulling him back. Still, he takes a couple of pictures, signs a bunch of things, all the while making small talk, before politely excusing himself and walking back to the red carpet. 

Donna and Nikita move to standby since Saoirse's interview seems to be coming to an end. She talks animatedly and takes control of the narrative. She talks about presenting for the night, about her dress, her style, her upcoming roles, her recent major awards. It's entirely amazing to watch, even more so when Timothée skips out of the spotlight again to chase her down the path and give her a careful embrace. Donna and Nikita both release a relieved sigh when they see him jump to her side, but thankfully the man is considerate enough to keep in mind the amount of work to have Saoirse red carpet ready. 

It results in a longer screen time for Saoirse since no interviewer would pass on the chance to get the two most brilliant actors of this generation on one screen. Saoirse stays generously, but only for a moment, allowing Timothée to have his own, uninterrupted time so she can approach her team waiting on the sidelines. 

"Did I mess up? My hair didn't fall, did it?" Saoirse asks consciously, slightly apologetic for the nonexistent mess. 

"The only way you can remove my clasps on your hair is via a headbang, but please don't be so bold." Nikita replies, fussing about her and dabbing powder on spots of her face. 

Donna is on the floor, checking the hem of the dress and fluffing up the skirt. "How's the fit?" 

"I think it's slipping a bit on the back?" Saorise twists herself to show it. "I haven't got enough of a bust to hold it, I think." 

They laugh at that, then Nikita gropes her own and says "Same, sister." 

Donna shakes her head and adjusts the dress. The fit is still perfect, but it does happen with strapless dresses like this one, especially given the material. There's not a lot to work on since Saoirse has managed to retain much of it. They unfold a portable mirror for her, allowing her to check herself. 

"You guys work magic, thank you so much." Saoirse gives them both a brief hug. 

"Sersh!" Timothée Chalamet is king of escaping his bodyguards. He's dressed in an immaculate three piece olive suit with a chain hanging on one of the buttons, and the polished look is simply stunning on him. 

Saoirse whips around towards him, widening her eyes chidingly as his staff stumble upon themselves to keep up. 

"Stop running from them!" Saoirse slaps him on the arm, then offers an apologetic smile to his team.

"I'm not running away, I just want to catch up." Timothée corrects her smartly, then turns to Donna and Nikita with a courteous smile. "Hello, Timothée Chalamet." 

Thank God for Nikita, because Donna is shocked to her core. "Nikita, Donna," she replies politely, tidying up their space after the quick retouch. 

Donna wouldn't have expected an Academy award winning actor introducing himself to them, but maybe Timothée Chalamet is just raised differently. But then again, if he bolts off the red carpet to chat with his fans, then maybe she can count on him to be very grounded. 

"You didn't drop by when you were in LA!" Timothée whines, putting a hand on his hip. 

Saoirse winces a bit from getting called out. "Yeah, about that. I told you I would if I get off early!" 

"Oh, really? Totally not because you're off on a date with-" Timothée gets cut off when Saoirse claps a hand to his mouth. 

"For the record, no, so shut it." Saoirse points a finger directly between his eyes. "It's really work. And excuse us peasants who don't get to spend the rest of our lives with our soulmate."

Timothée coos mockingly at her. "Aww, poor you. I'm sure your second Academy award can warm your bed just fine." 

Saoirse guffaws and shoves him. They tease each other a bit more after that, but Donna's brain function seems to have halted on the mention of a soulmate. 

Now, as far as she knows, Timothée Chalamet isn't with anyone, explicitly. He's notoriously private, with the most personal glimpse into his life being the exposure of his gorgeous family. Donna likes to think that she's better off without celebrity gossip because they're quite a bit of weight, but this one piqued her interest. It's the intriguingly beautiful Timothée Chalamet, how could she even begin to pretend to be unaffected? 

"Are you staying around or flying out directly after?" Saoirse asks, watching the chaotic red carpet with Timothée on her side. 

"Staying," Timothée replies, scanning the crowd. "Just keeping him company. Maybe I'd hang around the set or something. We can get brunch, though." 

"I'd love that! Let's all go." Saoirse goes on to list her recommended places, then narrows her eyes in warning. "You better not be late. It's _brunch,_ for God's sake." 

Timothée protests loudly. "Excuse me, I'm never late, so wrong person." 

"Speaking of which," Saoirse juts her chin to the very end of the red carpet as a car pulls up. "It's the man himself." 

Donna follows her gaze and lands directly on Armie Hammer, who even at a great distance is overwhelmingly huge. 

"Didn't I do well?" Timothée says admiringly, shoving his hands in his pocket. 

"Not according to you last summer when Armie shaved his head."

"Shh, it was a moment of weakness and I do not claim it." Timothée goes on his tiptoes when Armie finally gets to the photographers, getting his attention by waving around his hand in the air with his pinky, index and thumb sticking out in a bizzare ‘rock on’ moment. 

"Should we make out just to mess with him?" Saoirse suggests, making Timothée turn so he can gauge how serious she is. "Seriously." 

Timothée bends over in laughter. "It would be terribly inconsiderate to your team, but we can pretend." 

The two grab a hold of each other's face then change their angle so they look like they're kissing. Donna watches as Armie Hammer breaks out into laughter, shaking his head fondly then making a faux sad face. He can definitely tell that it's faked, and he hops on the show. 

"Just to be clear, I will never condone you cheating." Saoirse warns him, but smirking teasingly over at Armie on the red carpet. 

Timothée snorts. "Have you seen my _husband?_ I'd never dare." 

Donna sighs deeply, her mind automatically going on a flashback of the Call Me By Your Name franchise. It's a trilogy, the last one set to start in a few years' time, and hearing it makes Donna feel like she's into a little secret. So Oliver and Elio will marry, she never would've thought. After all, there'd been so much struggle along the course of the second movie, but she's down for another one of the slowest burns she's ever paid attention to. Armie Hammer and Timothée Chalamet are hardly a bad pairing to watch for two hours at a time on the big screen.

What a tender franchise it is, even greater with the bond that the cast seemingly has. They're such good friends indeed.

**+1**

Mason believes he has the best and worst luck in the world. Five years writing for the media is still considered a rookie, no matter the technical definition of it. Given his relative lack of experience, he never expected to be the one assigned to attend the press conference for the last installment of the trilogy of Call Me By Your Name, but there he is. 

The cast is gradually filling in their seats behind the long table, Armie Hammer and Timothée Chalamet right in the middle, with Luca Guadagnino and the writer, Henry Labreche, on each side. The final movie brought back more of the core cast from the very first installment, including Michael Stuhlbarg, Amira Casar and Esther Garrel. It's a lovely ensemble, even more so if one would consider their easy rapport. They exchange comfortable touches and jests as they arrange themselves, Armie Hammer even waving to the press as an apology for the fuss and scowling playfully at his coworkers. 

It earns him a chuckle from the crowd. Mason can't help but note his charisma. It's not the first time that he's heard of Armie Hammer, but it is the first time he's seen him in the flesh. Logically, he knows that the man is good looking. Mason watched him outside the Call Me By Your Name franchise, and it is simply an undeniable fact. Still, it's massively different to be in the same room as the man. The screen doesn't do him justice; he's dashing _and_ knows it, which evidently works very well for him. Mason can only imagine what it's possibly like to be next to the man, though he can probably have an idea if he based it off of Timothée Chalamet. 

Interestingly, though not surprising, Timothée looks incredibly fond of Armie. Mason has been in enough press tours to know that some actors are only as good to each other as the characters they play, then proceed to ignore one another the moment the cameras turn away. It doesn't seem to be the case with Timothée Chalamet and Armie Hammer. There's a constant, steadying hand on Timothée's lower back, while Armie often bends down to whisper a thing or two. They share a bubble that separates the type of intimacy they have from the rest of the cast. It's not as though they're _distant,_ but rather moving together, like one does not come without the other, and everyone has settled on the fact that it is what it is. 

Mason looks around, then to Ben, his assignment partner. It's all business as usual. 

"They act like a proper couple." He shouts, knowing that with a crowd like that his voice would only carry over to Ben's ear. 

Ben doesn't even look fazed, still snapping as many photos as he can. "I mean, if you'd periodically rolled around naked with someone over the course of a decade, you'd be comfortable, too." 

It's hard to argue with that, so Mason simply drops it. Besides, the cast is finally ready. The questions start. 

It goes on the same way as any other press conference. They're asked about the production, behind the scenes, the script, the diverging plot lines of the movie and the book, the movie setting. Mason manages a couple of questions himself, mostly what his boss ordered him to ask. They're technical, which is honestly a very respectful approach, considering the artistic value of the trilogy. Mason can't help himself, though. At the back of his head, he's dying to pry about the leads, Timothée Chalamet and Armie Hammer, regarding the nature of their relationship. 

The reason why nobody is asking is pretty obvious. To raise it is to put a neon sign over one's head that he's eaten up completely what he's being sold. It's a gay movie, with straight male actors, and to ask as such is to make a joke of oneself. Mason, the rookie that he is, isn't looking forward to brand himself as a fool. 

"People view this franchise with such finality, like the characters are sentenced to one fate or another." Luca answers with a steady tone, talking to a female journalist who asked about the fate of the protagonists. "I'd have to disagree. In the second movie, we've seen them grow and explore, and people thought, 'Ah, so this is where they put their summer affair into perspective' which is not wrong, but it's more than that. Now that we've come to this final installment, it's a testament to the sheer luck of our characters; to be able to live the life that is right for them. They're spared the constant what-if that we tend to tragically put our beloved characters through. As if suffering is the only representation that we can get. That's quite a depressing message to leave, no? "

Timothée leans into his own mic, the words he wants to say displaying so clearly through the passion in his eyes, but his body language continues to communicate his endearing awkwardness. 

"There's also an existing concept ingrained in us that instinctively dismisses the depth of the relationships we form in our youth," he begins eloquently, though he fiddles with the napkins on the table. "Which, like Luca has said, puts so much finality to the story. Elio and Oliver experienced a great thing in that first summer together, which ends to signify a beginning for the two of them. Elio's coming of age, and Oliver's actualization - if you could call it that - with regards to his sexuality. To me, this franchise has come to full circle so beautifully. They didn't come back, but rather found themselves at a different point in time that would allow for their love, and it's all justified by the incredible journey that they'd gone through over the course of the years."

For a hall filled with so many people, it has become eerily quiet to accommodate the weight of Timothée Chalamet's perception of the movie. It makes him self-conscious, chuckling nervously as he bows his head and shrugs. 

"I don't know," he adds with a bashful grin. "It speaks to me, I guess." 

Everyone laughs fondly at him, Mason and Ben and included. Over thirty years old and still much too dear. Timothée can pass off to portray someone a decade younger if only such a character will call for the emotional maturity that he can bring into the screen. 

Another reporter pitches in a question. "Would you say you've taken that advice in your own, respective lives?" 

Armie answers without missing a beat, like he's eager about this particular discussion. "Oh, for sure. It's even a 'Life imitates art' type of thing." 

"Well, I guess you could say that's how these two managed to bring Elio and Oliver to life so perfectly." Michael Stuhlbarg chimes in teasingly, the cast giggling at his comment. 

"Maybe, maybe," Armie responds graciously. "I mean, how can you not take an experience like this to the heart, anyway? It's an unrestricted, unapologetic trilogy that explores nearly every facet of love and intimacy, even the ones we hate to see like the heartbreak and longing and jealousy-"

"Oh, not me. I loved seeing it." Luca interrupts smartly, amusing the crowd. 

"We _know._ You literally made a trilogy of it." Michael remarks exasperatedly, and they laugh again at the collective memory. 

Luca makes a noncommittal shrug, then gestures for Armie to continue. Timothée glances up to Armie, and they share a private moment that makes them chuckle under their breaths. 

"All I'm saying is, being a part of this franchise brought me to places I had never thought I'd be, and I'm not talking physically. I've known myself better and better each time through this, so yeah. I've definitely taken more than just a piece from filming." 

"And was that your intended, as a director, in producing these films?" The journalist asks Luca.

"Oh, that's not for me to say at all." Luca disagrees with a shake of his head, smiling. "I never put it upon myself to force these experiences into my actors, and I do not agree with that at all. I like to think that I'm merely an instrument through which works like these are translated into a visual experience, and much like with any other work, it will always be upon the audience to digest it in ways that they relate to. And I'd love that. That alone makes me feel accomplished. "

"It's bound to represent different things for different people." Timothée adds, while the cast backs him with nods. 

Another journalist raised his hand for a question. 

"How has the 'facet of love and intimacy' that the film showed affected you in terms of your own approach in new relationships?" 

Armie frowns at the question, while Timothée tilts his head curiously. A staff to the side had to urge them to answer, which they fumbled to comply with 

"Are these two even ready for this conversation?" Henry mumbles between his fit of giggles, exchanging a look with Luca. 

"That's an ominous question, mister, I'd have to say." Luca says while pointing at the writer. 

Mason has a hunch, but when you're seemingly the only person in a crowd who thinks a certain way, then the inclination to go with the flow becomes too strong. He tries to read the room, but the divide between the media and the cast is even greater now. They're evidently enjoying an inside joke, while the rest of them are a little lost in their own game. 

"I mean, I take the advice _now_ because God, I'm not looking into a second divorce at all." Armie can hardly get the statement out with the way he's shaking with laughter. 

A second divorce makes sense and doesn't at the same time. Armie Hammer has been divorced for nearly seven years now, give or take, but he also hasn't been reported to have remarried for a 'second divorce' to be in the works. 

"As you should, Armand." Timothée waves a finger threateningly, but laughing all the same. 

To Mason, that interaction alone is very telling. Armie Hammer is married, or at least engaged, which is hard to tell since his hand is out of view. The room is still slow in catching up, and he really wishes that they simply say it so they don't sit in front of the cast like confused freshmen in college orientation. 

"There you go." Luca says with a shrug, like that explains it. 

"Can we expound that a bit further?" The writer asks, visibly confused by the lack of a solid answer. 

For whatever reason, it makes Mason's heart beat fast in anticipation. It's as if his instincts are telling him that this is the moment of truth. 

Luca grimaces, puzzled. "Expound what? The relationship?" 

They stare at each other, obviously on opposite ends of a mutual understanding. Once again, the hall has gone quiet, and Mason is really on the very edge of his seat. 

"So Armie Hammer is in a relationship?" 

Timothée is the one who responds, snorting loudly. "Am I a joke to you?" 

The ensemble burst out laughing. 

When the media is still looking at them blankly and painfully clueless, Armie claps once in amusement. "Wait, no. Really?" 

"This is gonna be so good." Luca leans back on his chair to get a better view of everyone, his eyes shining with humor. 

Timothée puts his face in his hands, propped by the elbows on the table. Mason catches the glint of a ring when he puts his arms up, and it fills him once again with thrill. It's so telling at this point, but the media is still waiting for the marriage certificate to flag down until it gets through their heads that Timothée Chalamet and Armie Hammer are engaged in the very least, married at most. 

"I'll take it upon myself to put this disclaimer out." Henry says into the mic, one hand half-raised. "This is not intentional, and it's frankly the biggest overlook I've ever seen in the Hollywood circle."

"This is like, peak heteronormativity." Timothée puts his chin on his palm, laughing as he looks over at Armie. 

"I posted you in bed in Instagram and everyone still thought we're bros." Armie replies, slightly dumbfounded but going along with the hilarity of the situation. 

Mason has had enough. "When's the wedding!" He shouts over everyone, from his seat somewhere in the middle that he doubts the cast can even see. 

If the cast had taken it even just a tad negatively, Mason would've lost his job. As it happens, they take it magnificently well, laughing and slapping the table at his sudden outburst. 

"You're fucking nuts." Ben murmurs behind him, but he doesn't sound convincingly riled up. 

Mason ignores him, eyes trained on Armie and Timothée as they stare at each other, a conversation happening just in that brief glimpse. 

It's Timothée who waves his hand in the air, showing off his ring. "It's two years ago?" 

The media erupts. The press tour has suddenly turned into a marriage reveal, which in hindsight isn't even necessary considering the amount of sightings that has been reported on the two. It is, in fact, heteronormativity. Now that it's out to the world, Mason feels slightly validated, as his intuition has called it already, though he can't really claim it since he never tried to go against the current and verbalize it. 

Armie puts two of his hands in the air, motioning the press to simmer down. A lot of the staff also walk to the front, trying to control the outburst and get one question at a time. It's quite a crazy affair, even made harder when Armie twists the ring off his finger, conveniently showing it off to the photographers. Timothée follows this gesture, holding his own ring up in the air. 

Ben snaps frantically, capturing the generous display. Mason can't help his curiosity anymore and he gets up his seat, making Ben show him the zoomed in photos. 

The wedding bands have their names engraved inside, each belonging to the other. Mason looks back to the table, and the two have slipped their rings back to their fingers, still laughing at the situation. 

"Right!" Armie claps loudly into the mic, catching everyone's attention. "So, the movie?" 

Forgotten. Hollywood won't get over being the brunt of a joke in a while. 

  


[armiehammer: this will be the only glimpse in our wedding and i chose this to fuck with you all because it has the least amount of details except that 1.) with a guest list that small we still got photobombed and 2.) we did, in fact, just throw on old suits that we found in the wardrobe]

**Author's Note:**

> Back to epilogue writing haha x


End file.
